Hi, my name is Zackary Tiedeman. I’m a follower of Jesus, a writer and a runner based in Boston, MA. I’m currently working full-time as a Product Developer at a startup called Rendever.
I’m just a dude who grew up in a little state called Delaware. I devote my life to Jesus Christ, the One who saved me and my soul. By faith I walk with Him to accomplish His goals for my life!
My life, just like yours, is a series of ups and downs. But I am always reminded of my testimony and journey — how did I get here?
1998-2006
I was born in Newark, DE in 1998. I am the firstborn to my parents, Wayne and Karin, and grew up alongside my sister who’s 11 months younger. It was typical suburbia — filled with water slides in the backyard, loving parents, and lots of friends.
2006-2011
When I was about 8 years old, my parents went through a divorce, totally flipping my world upside down. My sister and I moved to Middletown, DE with my mom and primarily lived there, seeing my dad weekly but not daily. I questioned the love, trust and comfort I found in my parents and everyone else in my life. I isolated myself from everyone. I became very depressed during this time, but didn’t really know it. I felt this way for many years. In my loneliness and broken heart, I unknowingly buried my spiritual life completely — I was spiritually dead.
2011-2013
Elementary school finished up. Middle school came and went, filled with silent depression and confusion about who I am and what my purpose is. Video games entered the picture, first with simple games and then eventually with violent games like Call of Duty and GTA. Wrapped in my loneliness was a severe porn addiction that plagued me. I lived each day to go home and escape through video games and porn, alone in the basement.
Through it all, my mom brought my sister and I to Catholic mass as my mom grappled with her own emotions. She believed in Jesus and tried to instill the same faith in us. My heart was calloused and bitter, so I didn’t believe in God or have faith, especially in something I didn’t understand. My spirit was choked by fear.
2013-2017
Eventually, it was time to go to high school. Freshman year came and went fast. The summer after freshman year, my mom initiated a video game “intervention”, pleading with me to join school clubs and sports to broaden my life. With much resistance, I finally consented and joined the Cross Country, Winter Track and Lacrosse teams my sophomore year. By the time I was a senior, I was a varsity athlete and had done very well in school to have prospects of University education. I left high school still longing for real friendships and love that seemed difficult to come by.
I continued going to church with my mom, with much resistance. I increasingly wanted nothing to do with religion at all. Resentment and distrust were dominant feelings in my life.
2017-2019
I got accepted to attend the University of Delaware to pursue a bachelor’s in Biomedical Engineering. Here was my chance to become independent and live my life free of the mistakes of my family. I swore off church, and lived my own way. I dedicated myself to my studies, but simultaneously sought meaning in the college lifestyle. I quickly made shallow friendships, “having fun” drinking, smoking and having sex as modern college students do. I thought these things would bring me joy, fun and fulfillment. They never did.
Time and time again, I’d end up intoxicated and miserable, depressed and ever-increasingly anxious. I used drugs to mute the feelings, but it made them worse. Meanwhile, a chronic neck injury and poor immune health caused my body to deteriorate.
Spiritually, I remained dead and inactive. But something happened next that would shape me forever.
2019-2021
I slowly reached an emotional and social rock bottom, weakening my spirit in an un-winnable fight. The final blow occurred when I got terribly sick with mono, wrecking me physically. With nothing to stand on, I somehow recognized my need for a spiritual foundation for my life. In short, the pain and suffering I felt was finally too great, and placing my trust in spiritual disciplines was my only hope.
I briefly researched different world religions and finally decided to try Buddhism. For almost 1 year, meditation and yoga became ritualistic for me — I did anything to detach from my pain and suffering. Something curious started to happen. I detached from my friends, quit drinking, successfully quit doing drugs and unsuccessfully attempted to quit porn all by myself. I got physical therapy and recovered from mono. Life was improving, but I was never quite content.
Come 2020, I was beginning my senior year with less friends, but cleaner habits. I meditated, did yoga and stayed relentlessly disciplined in my physical therapy. My quality of life improved, but I still struggled with anxiety, depression and loneliness. The Buddhist lifestyle was socially isolating. I thought that if I just meditated longer, deeper or more intensely, then maybe I’d reach the perfection of nirvana that I’d heard about. But sooner or later, it seemed futile, and more like a practice for mental health than an actual life philosophy or religion.
Soon, I became open to other beliefs. My friend Josh invited me to a local Christian Student Ministry on campus. The first few times I joined, I remember distinctly thinking:
Man these people are weird… They’re happy and joyful. They accept new people quickly and easily. They genuinely care about me. They see me.
At first I resisted, but I was soon overcome with a joy that I’ve never felt before. Why did I feel this way? To sum it up: these people were striving to be like Jesus Christ, and they were proving that there’s something different about Christianity that I never understood before.
2021-2022
Graduation day came. College was a long four years, filled with much change and adversity. I left with plenty of life lessons, friends that I’m grateful for, a bachelor’s degree in Biomedical Engineering and determination to find my own path spiritually.
After May 2021, I got a job offer to work for a startup in Boston. I took the opportunity and didn’t look back. I was determined to find a church and explore my faith as my own.
In August, I moved into my new apartment in Boston with a few friends from college. From August to January I began going to a local church with a different perspective on Christianity than I knew. Charismatic worship, ecstatic prayer, laying of hands and speaking in tongues were the norm, which startled me at first. But just like in my campus ministry, these people really loved Jesus, and I learned so much from them. I learned the power of prayer and worship, and the importance of connecting with God. Jesus was still calling me deeper. Yet, I still wondered about certain elements of Christianity.
2022-2024
In January 2022 I decided to look for a new church on the pretense of wanting a deeper biblical understanding. I emailed a few churches and landed somewhere. I learned about God’s Word, deepened my understanding of God’s character, and learned what it looks like to be fully dedicated to follow Him.
Jesus was calling me to follow His every word. In March of 2022, I decided to put my faith into action by getting baptized as a public profession and participation in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection. This was a big deal for me – it meant making my faith public and identifying myself with Christ. My faith was stronger than before and this was a joyous moment.
I slowly made Him #1 in all aspects of my life: He is Lord, and my life is all His.
And for the next year and a half, I had joyful moments. I had sad moments. I had doubts. I had moments of intense belief. My time with this body of believers was one of deeper personal devotion to God in every area of my life. However, some key elements of the Boston Church of Christ (and many Churches of Christ) I found were not true to Jesus’ intents and were borderline cultish. Eventually, I made an exit from this church for my own spiritual safety and growth.
Today
In early 2024, I transitioned to place my membership at an evangelical church in Boston called Park Street Church, which I’ve found to be led by some of the most humble and wise people I’ve met. I’m very excited to keep growing with Christ with this new church, as well with members from The Table and other churches city-wide to unify interdenominationally under Jesus’ name.
Through all of my experiences, never do I regret the path I’ve taken, nor do I ever intend to leave this path of faith that leads to heaven. And now I want to make my life known so that others can make an authentic decision about Jesus. Never before have I had this level of certainty in my beliefs. I am confident in my sonship to God, my identity, my place in this world, and my purpose in life.
Those addictions I had? It’s important to mention that I could never truly ditch them until I placed my full hope, trust and salvation in God. With Jesus, my fear is washed away along with my addictions to porn, alcohol and self-deprivation. My anxiety and depression are squashed. I am renewed.
Through these moments, I give all credit to Jesus. Because of His life, death and resurrection, everyone on earth has the opportunity to strip themselves clean of loneliness, depression, anxiety, worry, and spiritual death. In Jesus there is immense love, joy, freedom and peace. Won’t you learn more about Jesus?
My faith continues to grow. Each day I decide to love the Father more, I also understand how to love others to the point of overwhelming joy. Jesus has called me into sonship, and though I answered the call, He’s had His hand on my life since before I was even born.
I can’t imagine a better life.
Join me on my journey! You might learn a thing or two and find Jesus in the process 🙂